My son caught me off guard when he asked me, “What does flirt mean?” For whatever reason, flirt was one of his weekly spelling words, and he was supposed to use it in a sentence for homework. As I struggled to come up with an age appropriate definition, I remembered that I bought a children’s dictionary from the thrift store. I told my son we can look it up in the dictionary, and I was relieved to find that the word flirt was included. After we read the definition, he then asked me, “What does romantically mean?” And I thought I was off the hook. I told him, “When someone likes another person, like a boyfriend and girlfriend.” I had heard him talk about having girlfriends at school before, so I hoped he would be able to figure it out from there.
Later on as I reflected on our interaction, I wondered why I chose to define romance with boyfriend and girlfriend rather than husband and wife. I believe it’s that I subconsciously think that often romantic pursuits like flirting tend to die after marriage and even more so after kids. A husband and wife can easily take each other for granted when the newness of marriage passes and they get caught up in the busyness of life. One place where the romance between a couple is definitely not dead is in the book of Song of Solomon (sometimes called Song of Songs). This book records a poetically romantic exchange between a man and a woman:
You have captured my heart, my sister, my bride. You have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.
Song of Songs 4:9 (CSB)
This man is smitten. He is blown away by the beauty in her eyes. There is something special about locking eyes with someone you love. To put a cherry on top, he complements the jewelry she is wearing. The flirting is definitely not one sided here, because the woman has her share of things to say too:
Come, my love, let’s go to the field; let’s spend the night among the henna blossoms. Let’s go early to the vineyards; Let’s see if the vine has budded, if the blossom has opened, if the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my caresses. The mandrakes give off a fragrance, and at our doors is every delicacy, both new and old. I have treasured them up for you my love.
Song of Songs 7:11-13 (CSB)
She is asking her husband to get away with her, so they can share their love. Sometimes getting away from it all to focus on one another is just what a relationship needs. She knows what she wants and she communicates it. A healthy dose of romantic love like that found in Song of Solomon can help keep a marriage strong.
God, I thank you for the gift of my husband. You knew just what I needed and what I wanted. Forgive me for taking him and his love for granted. Help me to prioritize expressing my love to him.